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Backlash; You really SHOULD Order it! By Paps

April 27, 2009   ·   0 Comments


Backlash Results & Notes


By Paps

It has been my intention to write something about probably the last 6 WWE Pay per views, but time and patience and lack of positive things to say have always come first and I haven’t gotten around to penning one of these things in quite some time. So please excuse the ‘type-rust’ (haha) and allow me to share my thoughts about what has probably been the BEST WWE Pay Per View I’ve seen in this year (at least!) Who needs WrestleMania?

Kicking off this Backlash from the Dunkin Donuts Centre in Providence, Rhode Island, was Captain Charisma himself, Christian vs Jack ‘horse-gob’ Swagger for the ECW title. What a way to start the show as Michael Cole is quite often heard dribbling! I predicted a Christian win for this one, he’s been bubbling away on ECW since his WWE-inflicted ‘lacklustre’ return and it was just time that they did something with this guy! He, as always, got an enormous ovation from the fans in attendance so if these rumours of Vince not seeing Christian’s ‘star potential’ are true, I’d just like to invite Mr McMahon to don a false beard and sit in the audience of one of these shows THEN tell me Christian isn’t worth a major title run!! Jack Swagger… what can be said about Jack Swagger? Maybe it’d be best if I said.. nothing at all! What I will say is this; he may be the biggest pain in the a$$ and he also may well be horrible on the mic, but he’s getting better that much I have noticed. Like it or not I really do believe this guy is going to be a major star in the business… then again I’m usually wrong I don’t know why you’re even reading this crap!
During most of the match it seemed like every time Christian got some momentum, Swagger took him down again, although there were lots of near-falls that had me on the edge of my seat! For the finish, Christian exposed the turnbuckle and Swagger ran head first into it, Christian then got the ‘Un-Prettier’ (More commonly known as the ‘whoopsie -Daisy’ eh Nat?) and Christian FINALLY gets the pin and is the new ECW Champion! And it’s about fricken time too!

Backstage Dreamer, Bourne and Finley all congratulate Christian and he excuses himself as he sees somone from the corner of my eye. Be still my beating heart it’s Edge! Come on who didn’t mark out? Christian askes Edge what happened to him and tells him he used to be fun but he’s turned into a bitter raving lunatic! (That about sums it up!) Edge says it’s all John Cena’s fault! And I know some who’d agree with him on that. Ya’know, the war in Iraq, the Credit Crunch, the price of Banana’s.. it’s all Cena’s fault.. hell he’s probably hiding Bin Laden down one leg of his shorts. (Oh is THAT what it is?!)

Next up it’s Jericho vs Steamboat. I predicted Steamboat with a little part of me hoping I’d be wrong! I’m sure this was a major mark out moment for Jericho, again, being in the ring with someone he admired growing up must have been like Edge’s Hogan moment! Ricky is still looking damn good (not as good as his son mind you pheeeweeee get THAT guy in a pair of trunks! I’d pay!) Where was I.. oh yeah, it was very good to hear Michael Cole list off some of Jericho’s achievements, I think sometimes those things get over looked or forgotten completely! (And whatever King was about to say in response to that list was so obviously cut off my the ‘ear-piece god’ as he just stopped mid-sentance!)

Another excellent match for us fans to witness! Steamboat did have a little trouble getting the legs in the right place for the figure 4 (hell I couldn’t do it to save my a$s from a zombie attack!) there was also an awesome mid-flight ‘Code-Breaker’ that warrented a mention. Eventually Jericho got the Walls and Steamboat tapped. Another fantastic match. Christian/Swagger was good; Jericho/Steamboat was great! Top that Triple H!

Santino Marella is seen backstage pretending to be talking to ‘Santina’ on the phone. Beth comes in with that shadow of hers who’s name escapes me (again) and tells him to give it up and just admit he’s playing Santina. He refuses and so Beth dumps him! Santino yells that he has faked all his ‘you-know-whats’ and looks a little upset! PG people.. PG!

Kane Vs CM Punk, had a LOT to live up to. I predicted a Punk win (because..I just had to!) I love everything about this so far short feud and would love to see it carry on to at least one more pay per view (maybe even have the contract on the line at some point?) I am however, sorry that they had to follow Jericho/Steamboat and wasn’t entirly sure they could pull off topping that one.
Punk has the upper hand for most of the first 5(ish) minutes of the match, even managing to avoid a mid-air choke slam from the Big Red Monster! Kane eventually managed some offense, starting with a base-ball slide into Punk, slamming him back-first into the ring post. Punk is able to counter a choke slam into a DDT and did more than hold his own in the ring against Kane. By now I’m not only plesently surprised that these guys can pull off something that at least equals the previous match in excitement value, I’m also gob smacked that they have so long to work it! I noticed ALL the competitors of the night were really sweating quite a lot, and I think that’s because the WWE finally realised these guys need more than a 6 minute match to sell their story and to pull off something that is as good as this was!

After a barrage of kicks and slaps from Punk, Kane catches the Choke Slam for the three count. Winner: Kane and another bloody good match! Follow that Batista!!

Now 1-2 on predictions.. not having a bad night considdering this is me!

We are treated to another awesome Hardy’s montage. I was lucky enough to see a Hardy Vs Hardy match last week in Birmingham and it was totally awesome even though it was a little hard to watch and decide who to yell for! I had high expectations going into this pay per view and I had to also hope that this one was Jeff’s, since Matt is 3 and 0 already! There was a guy in the crowd with a sign that said ‘I want Hardy to win!’ that pretty much summed it up for me for this entire feud! I don’t have many notes for this match as I was way too busy yelling at the TV and bouncing on my couch so bare with me and please *insert your own play-by-play here*! Matt worked on Jeff’s knee, getting the figure 4 a few times and it looked extremly painful! Much to the crowd’s delight, Jeff eventually shoved a table into the ring and lay Matt on it. He then proceeded to tape Matt’s ankles and wrists together and then roped him to the table and climbed up a ladder. The crowd were going ape by this point but the ref held the mic to Matt and he begged for mercy. Asking Jeff not to do it, telling him he’s his brother and he loves him. He says “Jeff our Mom wouldn’t want this! Daddy wouldn’t like this!” As Jeff made like he was going to jump from the ladder Matt screamed “I QUIT!” Jeff made to climb down the ladder but got a leaprfog over it and slammed Matt through the table! Yet another great match and the right man won! Paps is now 2 for 2 ooh yeah!

Randy cuts a promo backstage, obviously trying to get into Batista’s head and cause a rift between his team. (I couldn’t really hear what was being said as my two year old daughter chose this opportune moment to burst into a chorus of ‘Lets Go Fly A Kite’ and run infront of the TV! I will train her to wait until Batista is on….)

Khali Kiss Cam is up next, I guess there had to be a slight intermission in the tension of the matches. Santino.. or ‘a’, comes out ready to pucker up, but then says ‘she’ is not who she says she is and infact she’s in love with another man. That man is JR. Jim Ross looks well impressed but at least his fellow announcers get a kick out of it. Khali ‘apparently’ says that Santina must prove her love for JR and kiss him, thankfully we are not exposed to the horror that would be a Santino/JR snog-fest when Beth Phoenix and.. that shadow, interrupt. Beth is mad as hell and challenges Santina for her Miss WrestleMania title right there and then. She also yells at Khali and says he must be the stupidest person on the planet to not realise that Santina is a man! This promts Khali to very politically corrrectly knock a woman on her a$s (And Cena can’t have an FU!?) Santina takes the opportunity to call for the bell and cover Beth therfore keeping her Miss WrestleMania ‘title’. A Rather ‘happy-looking’ Khali *shudders* rips off Santina’s bra as ‘she runs off screaming.

A slight WTF moment if nothing else… ah well.. moving on…

Tag Match for the WWE Championship. (yes Triple H must have a hair appointment, or Batista may have a slow-puncture because… they’re not on last!) I predicted that Triple H would still be stapled to that belt by the end of the match and Cody’s symbals would probably need a bit of spit n’ polish by the time it was all over. I also predicted that by the time Triple H got his as$ to the ring, I’d have lost interest anyway and gone off to clean the toilet..

Not entirely sure what Rhodes has on the butt of his trunks but it kinda looked like a fart with an a’hole in the middle at first glance… when I looked again I saw it was an ‘L’ for Legacy (So why does Wee Ted have ‘Priceless’ on his pants? I’m always confused about this Priceless/Legacy mutation!) After discovering it was an “L” I also discovered I was slightly traumatised from looking at Cody’s as$ for so long…

In the opening moments of the match Triple H chases Orton to the back out of sight. This is almost a carbon copy of the match we saw at the house show last week where we were RIPPED out of a longer appearance by Randy! I was hoping he wasn’t injured or something because I couldn’t honestly see the logic in having him NOT be there for most of the match! (haha sorry I answered my own question.. Logic+WWE.. yeah I know I was having a laugh!)

So, Triple H, Batista and Shane beat the snot out of Rhodes (which isn’t exactly a bad thing!) and then DiBiase gets a turn at having the crap beaten out of him because, lets be honest, these guys can’t have a fight without their fearless leader right? As soon as Randy is out of sight they turn into quivering piles of jello… apparently. They get about 30 seconds of offence on Batista but that’s it. Im bored.. I leave the room…

In the time it took to make cous cous I came back to see Randy was back (finally) and they’re all beating up Batista again! (Hooray!) By now Randy O Vs Shane O is looking VERY attractive!

The match picks up considderably in the last few minutes with bodies flying in and out of the ring and I got lost off as to who were the legal men! Triple H was distracted when Batista was weilding a chair on the outside, he doesn’t want to get DQ’d apparently. But how would he get DQ’d when he was the legal man not Batista? Obviously he would and I’m just thick, because it distracts him enough that while he’s concentrating taking the chair from Batista, Orton sets up for the RKO and gets a two count. The bell is rung although the ref is screaming at the bell ringer that it was a two! Orton then gets a kick to Triple H’s head and gets the three count! Awesome! It’ll all be Batista’s fault…

Winner and NEW WWE champion; Randy Orton! Give me a hell yeah!

2 for 3.. but it’s all good! 😉

Ok and so on to Match Of The Night! (Yeah.. it’s true!) Edge vs Cena.

Possibly my favourite feud EVER, Cena and Edge go at it once again, this time for the World Heavyweight Championship in a Last Man Standing match. If this is the complete END then I’ll be sad! I love how these guys always bring out the best in each other and how they can leave off this ‘feud’ for months and then pick it up where it left off at the drop of a hat!

My prediction was for Edge to win because he needs to get that title on Smackdown!

Edge came out first but I think Batista used up Pyro budget for the night.. there’s a credit crunch on ya know? (Of course you do.. it’s all Cena’s fault!)

There’s a HUGE chant of ‘Let’s go Cena!’/ ‘Let’s go Edge’ and from what I can hear it’s split right down the middle and the crowd are really fired up!

It was another great match with a few Holy $h*t moments inculding Cena getting an FU from the top turnbuckle, a couple of mid-air spears and a fantastic FU from standing on the announce table seeing Cena launch Edge into the audience! (Im assuming they planted everyone within 5 feet of THAT bullseye.. although I’d have paid extra to have Edge land on me.. I’ll keep that to myself!) These guys fight out into the consessions stands and back into the arena. They plant each other on the stage and smack each other senseless, they look completely beat and are gasping for air as they give it their ALL! As Cena went for the FU Big Show came out and threw Cena into one of the huge spotlights at the side of the stage. Damn! I don’t care how ‘fake’ it was that glass was stuck in the dude’s back when they lifted him onto the stretcher that’s not fake!! Of course this gave the ref chance to count to ten and Edge is the NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! I knew he could do it!! As Edge’s music plays, some officials, medical staff and a couple of wrestlers (I think Christian was there) come out to help Cena out of the light and onto a stretcher and I cringed when I saw them picking the glass from his back! Both guys did a fantastic job.. hell all the guys on this pay per view just totally blew WrestleMania out of the damn water! I know everyone’s raving about it and I KNOW they can’t possibly pull this off on a week to week basis but come on! THIS is what pay per views should be about! it was awesome! It’d sure as hell make me pay my money every month if this is the quality I was going to get!
Hats off to every guy that stepped into the ring last night!
Wow!

9/10 (And I don’t think I’ve ever given a ppv that many points!) If you haven’t seen it you need to order it now!

paps 3-3 Wowza!

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