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Tossing Salt Video Review – Grand Masters Of Wrestling: First Blood Vol. 2

September 27, 2009   ·   0 Comments

Tossing Salt Video Review
Grand Masters Of Wrestling: First Blood Vol. 2
September 26, 2009
Doug Maynard
 

Well, I said I’d be back and here I am again with yet another DVD review of some classic mat action from the folks at Digiview Entertainment. This is “Grand Masters Of Wrestling: First Blood Vol 2” and will it live up to the billing or will it be as big a dud as Vol. 1 was? Let’s find out.
 
Advertised on the cover are Baron Von Raschke, Killer Kowalski, and special presentations of King Kong Bundy and “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka. We move over to the back of the DVD and it says that we will see Ace Darling taking on “Dangerous” Devon Storm. It also advertises King Kong Bundy versus Iron Mike Sharpe and The Metal Maniac versus “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka. But as we discovered with Vol. 1, just because this company advertises something for their DVD doesn’t necessarily mean that you should expect to actually see it on the DVD.
 
I watched the DVD and there are no matches involving Devon Storm, Ace Darling, King Kong Bundy, Metal Maniac or Jimmy Snuka. Yeah, it’s another bait and switch tape from the ass-clowns at Digiview Media.
But I’ll review it anyhow and talk about the matches that ARE on the DVD.
 
This was filmed in Wilmington, New Jersey sometime in 1993. It’s the same ring under a canopy set-up that was used in the previous DVD and most likely was taped at the same show. And it’s only 1 camera filming everything so the production values suck ass. Just saying.
 
We start off with a promo from Baron Von Raschke. He’s got a match against Killer Kowalski and he wants to prove that his claw, the “brain claw”, is better than Kowalski’s stomach claw. This is roughly three years after Baron’s last big run in the AWA and he’s definitely past his prime here. And then we go to Killer Kowalski. If the Baron is past his prime, Kowalski takes it to a whole new level. He’s old. Very old. And he rambles his way through a promo and mangles the English language. This is NOT going to be pretty.
 
And then instead of a match, we go to a “special presentation” where the ring announcer is giving out plaques to honor some of the wrestlers. He gives Killer Kowalski a plaque to honor a 45 year career. Kowalski rambles and leaves the ring.
 
And the next plaque is awarded to Ken Patera, the original “World’s Strongest Man”. Patera looks bad here. He’s fat and bloated and a far cry from the man who represented us in the Olympics in 1972. Ken comes out to accept his award and rambles a bit. Patera was never a great promo guy and the years have not made him any better. The crowd is bored and I’m not doing much better myself.
 
Here comes Iron Mike Sharpe and The Iron Sheik to the ring. They want to know why Patera is getting an award and they’re not. Chaos ensues and we have one of the weakest looking brawls in wrestling history with Patera getting jumped by Sheik and Sharpe. The announcer gets laid out, so that’s pretty entertaining, but I’m ready to rip my hair out here. This is just bad and more attention is paid to the announcer getting helped by the referee than anything else. I’m dying here.
 
We go now (finally) to the first match. It’s Dominic DeNucci versus Johnny Hotbody. DeNucci is in his sixties here and Hotbody is trying to have a match, but it’s just like everything is in slow motion. We see a little chain wrestling and some back and forth on the arms and legs, but this match wouldn’t qualify as the opener for a backyard wrestling league, much less a professional show that’s being taped for release on DVD. I put the DVD into fast forward and it still seemed to take forever. Denucci won the match with an airplane spin. And I’m ready to heave my guts on to the floor from having to watch. The official time of the match was 15 minutes and 40 seconds. It seemed like so much longer. I think I aged about ten years.
 
And Ken Patera comes back out to talk again. He has something to say, as if once wasn’t enough. Here comes Sheik and Sharpe again. Patera makes a challenge for later in the show for a match. He has a partner, but won’t say who it is. Sharpe and Iron Sheik cut more promos and ramble on and on (and on and on) for a bit before finally accepting the challenge and leaving the ring area again.
 
And now to the next match which is Baron Von Raschke versus Killer Kowalski. Remember what I said about the brawl with Patera and the Sheik / Sharpe combination looking weak? Forget it. Compared to this match, that brawl was a Terry Funk – Cactus Jack match from ECW. Kowalski looked terrible. His skin was just sagging and hanging off of him and his punches and kicks showed so much air, you could fit Kanye West’s ego in there. And that’s a lot of air and light.
 
Baron was slow and plodding and looked rather rough too, but it looked as if he was more just trying to not hurt Kowalski and just get through this match than any real bad moves. Neither Killer or Baron had any business in the ring at this point of their careers and it shows. Baron was still capable of a match if he had someone who could carry him and work with him, but Kowalski was so far past it, he was just lost in there. So damn sad.
 
Anyhow, they drag it out and the match lasted for about sixteen – seventeen minutes and then Kowalski got DQ’ed for assaulting the referee after the ref tried to make hiom break his claw. Kowalski then put the stomach claw on the referee and I’ll give the kid credit – the ref sold it like it was killing him. Probably the best job of selling anything thus far in this entire DVD.
 
And then we go to the final match of Ken Patera and his mystery partner versus Iron Mike Sharpe and The Iron Sheik. Patera comes to the ring and stands around. Sheik and Sharpe come out and ramble and talk trash and this continues for about five minutes.
 
Then (finally) Patera takes the announcers notes and reads from them, page by page to announce who his “mystery partner” is. It’s The Great Maccabee. Who? The crowd pops. They must know this kid who wears a mask and looks to weigh about 180lbs at the most. He’s a Icon or so they try to say. So far, I’m not impressed.
 
The match is what you might expect. Sharpe does most of the work for his team since the Sheik was not really in any condition to go for any long periods of time. Patera would come in every so often to do a strong-man stunt or two and then tag out. And Maccabee played the role of Ricky Morton and just got his ass handed to him again and again while Patera stood on the ring apron looking bored.
 
And finally, after a long period that was just painful to watch, the half-dead Maccabee hot-tags Patera who lumbers in and throws a few weak looking punches and clotheslines. And tags back out. Maccabee is back in and gets beat up again until managing to evade a Iron Sheik kick. So Maccabee moves and Sheik kicks Sharpe by accident and The Mighty Maccabee gets the pin.
 
And it’s thankfully over.
 
On a scale of 1-10, this one gets a 1, and that’s being nice. If you ever see it in the discount bin at your local store, just put it down and slowly back away. Bad camera action, bad matches, false advertising and cheezy-bad music that makes bad 70’s porn music sound great in comparison. I paid a dollar for this DVD. I got hosed badly and that’s the truth.
 
Well, that’s that – and it’s thankfully over. I’m out of here for now. Comments and questions can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Come visit me at MySpace at www.myspace.com/salt_palace or over at Facebook at www.facebook.com/saltpalace.
 
Anythng else? Nah! So I’ll see you the next time. I’m Doug and as the Baron would say, “Dat is all de’ people need to know!” Take care.
 
Ubuntu!

 
 
 

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