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TNA Impact Report Saturday 22/05/2010

May 24, 2010   ·   0 Comments

TNA Impact Report Saturday 22/05/2010

by Raymond Mullan

10 Card Stud

Saturday 22/05/2010 @ 9pm on Bravo. Originally aired Thursday 20/05/2010 on SPIKE!

Commentators: Mike Tenay & Taz
Hey loyal readers! Its time for another TNA iMPACT! Report! Tonight we arrive in the fallout of the Sacrifice Pay-Per View and an announced return of the Olympic gold medallist Kurt Angle!!

We open with a superb review of the happenings at Sacrifice.

And the pyro hits and we are LIVE/TAPED from the Impact Zone, Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida!!! Tenay and Taz hype tonights show theres going to be a huge announcement from Hogan about tonights main event. Tonight, Kurt Angle comes back and we will also reveal the top 10 contenders rankings. And at that, here comes Eric Bischoff with Miss Tessmacher.

Easy E says weve all been waiting for the announcement on the Top Ten Rankings. The TNA Championship committee, comprised of Hogan, Dixie and Eric, had three basic criteria. One was fan polling. The other, career win/loss record and previous championship record. The third is the TNA win/loss championship record. #10 Samoa Joe. And here he comes. We get a video package of Samoa Joe. #9 Rob Terry. Who in the hell voted Terry over Joe? Here comes Terry whos limping (nice selling). We get a video package of him that follows. #8 Desmond Wolfe. And here he comes. And the video package follows. Im just going to say the numbers and names now that you get the drill. #7 The Pope (who is one of Miss Tessmachers favourites). #6 Abyss. #5 Mr. Anderson. #4 Jeff Hardy. #3 AJ Styles. #2 KURT ANGLE! Angles music hits but theres no Angle to be seen, Bischoff does a good job of feigning confusion. #1 Sting!!! And hes got a title shot at Slammiversary. So wait, does this mean no KOTM match this year? Sting comes out with bat in hand and goes right to the ring (all of the other guys stayed at the stage).

Bischoff says on behalf of TNA, congratulations. At Slammiversary, hes going to face Rob Van Dam. Tonight, hes going to prove hes a fighting number one contender. Tonight itll be Sting against Jeff Hardy. Sting says they wanted change. He starts smashing things with the bat. Thats change. Talk about change, Bischoff needs to change the way he walks. Sting takes him out with the bat although we only get the swing and some crowd shots!! WTF Bravo? Its after the 9pm watershed! Hogan says hes coming out. Sting takes out Abyss. Hardy grabs the bat. Hardy drops the bat and theyre getting ready for a fair fight. Hardy slaps Sting. Kick to the nuts by Sting. He grabs the bat, but here comes RVD!! Sting challenges RVD to get in the ring. But Hardy clips the leg from behind. And hits a Reverse Twist of Fate on the Stinger!! Hardys music starts playing but he goes to the top. Sting rolls out of the ring before Hardy can hit a top rope move.

We come back from the ad break and we get a recap of what just happened moments ago.

In the back with Hogan, Bischoff (who appears to be in some pain) and Tessmacher are there. Hogan tells Miss Tessmacher to get the trainer for Bischoff. Morgan comes in and says he must know how we feel with Samoa Joe attacking him. Hogan tells him to get out and that its a bad time. Morgan wants a rematch. Hogan says hes got it but good luck finding a partner. Morgan leaves looking happy as Hogan tells Bischoff not to worry as hes got that covered. Hogan tells Bischoff Sting needs to disappear.

Match 1: Non-Title Match Roxxi vs TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne
 Roxxis back yes!!
 Tenay and Taz show highlights of Roxxis last match and how she broke her ankle.
 Here comes Madison Rayne, strangely with no Velvet Sky or Lacey? Maybe they are trying to put Madison over in her own right now since that win over Tara.
 Tie up to start, and Roxxi hits an arm drag.
 Pin but only one. Small package but only one.
 Flipping arm drag but only one.
 Armbar by Roxxi.
 Back elbow in the corner by Roxxi.
 Madison dodges a boot and starts attacking Roxxi from behind. Huge kick to the gut by Madison.
 Pin but only one.
 Roxxi starts to fight back but cant.
 Madison with a sleeper hold.
 She slams Roxxi down and starts clawing at the face.
 Pin but barely two.
 Madison choking Roxxi in the ropes.
 Roxxi again tries to fight back but cant.
 Choking in the ropes again by Madison.
 Boot by Madison to Roxxis head.
 Another pin but only two.
 Chop by Madison.
 Roxxi counters an Irish whip into the Voodoo Drop!
 1..2.3!! No WAY!! They put Roxxi over!! Wow an unexpected win there!
 Winner: Roxxi
Backstage we see Wolfe in his dressing room with a distressed Chelsea. Wolfe assures her that shes going to be fine. Shes his no matter what.

Heres Kurt in the back. Someone asks him why he didnt come out earlier. He just keeps walking. Where are they going with this? Guess were going to find out now, hes on his way to the ring.

We get a pretty cool video package of Kurt Angle, with a song from the new Taproot album. Which Ive included below:

And here he comes. He says sitting at home this past month, sitting at home and watching Impact on the tube, hes noticed some changes. When he first started in TNA, he was one of the elite. The crowd chants You Still Are. But with the additions of RVD, Jeff Hardy, Mr. Anderson just to name a few, and the guys who have elevated themselves like AJ, Joe, Lethal and Young, Kurt Angle is no longer one of the elite. Hes just another name on the TNA roster. He says hell wrestle for free. Its never been about money or ego. Never about being in the spotlight, it was about being in the ring, looking his opponent in the eye, putting everything on the line. Kurt Angle was bred to be a winner. Hes going to be a winner for the rest of his life. Now, hes going through a difficult time. Kurt Angle has done everything possible in every aspect of wrestling. Hes done it all. So what can he do to reinvent himself? Hes going to start from scratch. Hes going to take himself out of the Top Ten. Hes going to wrestle each and every of the Top Ten TNA superstars. Starting from 10 to 1. He guarantees us were going to see some of the greatest matches of all time. Its real. Its damn real. Im down for this! Sounds awesome!

Christy Hemmes in the back with Flair and Beer Money. Flair tells Lethal that imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery. He cost AJ the title. Flair needs the gold. Tonight, he doesnt care who he picks, because he has to wrestle Beer Money. Kaz comes in and says he wants to speak with Flair. Flair tells Beer Money its all right. Flair asks Christy something if its true that she got married without experiencing the living legend, Christy tells the camera crew to cut the interview as she walks away in disgust. Ric, you old dog!!

Rob Terry says hes been informed by the doctors that his knee is injured in 4 different places, but thats not going to stop him from fighting Orlando Jordan. He hasnt been here long, but hes already a champion. Hes going to go out there and knock Orlando Jordans teeth down his throat.

Match 2: Non-Title Match Orlando Jordan vs TNA Global Heavyweight Champion Rob Terry
 Terry comes out with a taped knee and hes limping.
 Jordan kicks things off immediately by going after the leg.
 Terry tosses him off but Jordans going back to it.
 Terry with the clubbing blows and hits a shoulder block.
 Clothesline follows.
 Jordan grabs the leg again and Terry brings Jordan into the corner.
 Huge backdrop by Terry.
 Short arm clothesline by Terry connects.
 Pin but only two. Terrys limping on his leg.
 Jordan kicks it and chop blocks him down.
 Stomping the leg now is Jordan.
 Jordan takes the knee pad and tape off of the knee, exposing it.
 He grabs the leg and DDTs it into the mat.
 He does it again.
 Hes got him in a leg bar now.
 The ref calls it.
 Terry didnt tap, but the ref says he cant continue and calls for the bell.
 Winner: Orlando Jordan due to Injury Stoppage
 Post match sees Orlando Jordan refusing let go of the hold.
 The refs all come down and force him off.
 Jordan comes back and hits Terry with the stomps.
 He locks the leg bar back in and refuses to let go.
In the back with Jay Lethal. Lethal says when Flair took it wrong, it turned things around. Lethal was trying to honour him. RVD asks Jay if hes looking for a partner. Lethal says yeah, and RVD says hes going to be his partner. Lethal says thats awesome as we head to commercial.

Back from commercials and Hardy is in the back, and says that he idolised Sting as a kid. He helped him step out of whats normal. He always wanted to wrestle him, but didnt imagine it would go down like it did tonight.

We see Jesse Neal walking right into Team 3Ds locker room and starts yelling at Bubba. Ray says what he did to him was an attitude adjustment. Neal tells Ray hes jealous. Devon tells him to take it easy. Ray says he should be jealous of what. He runs down his credentials and says he has no reason to be jealous. Neal tells him to keep his distance. They start fighting with their respective partners pulling them apart. Ray tells Devon he told him from day one.

Match 3: Beer Money vs Jay Lethal & TNA World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam
 Lethal comes out to his new music that we heard last night at Sacrifice. Liking Lethal’s push but his comedy credentials are what got him hear, please Jay dont drop the impersonations just yet!
 Big response as usual for RVD!
 Roode and Lethal are going to kick things off.
 Roode blindsides Lethal and starts hitting him with the rights.
 Lethal comes back with some chops.
 Lethal pushes Roode off a headlock, ducks under Roode, hits a hiptoss and then the cartwheel basement dropkick.
 Lethal goes to the top but Storm pushes him off.
 Tag to Storm and they start stomping Lethal in the corner.
 Storm starts elbow dropping the legs.
 Knees to the head by Storm and he follows with a huge clothesline.
 Delayed pin but he only gets two.
 Tag to Roode. HUGE double back body drop.
 RVD comes in but the ref tells him to get back to the corner.
 That allows Roode to choke Lethal.
 Tag to Storm. Roode holds him, allowing Storm to hit Lethal with a right hand.
 Lethal ducks a clothesline and hits the back handspring elbow.
 Roode and RVD get the tags.
 Clothesline all around.
 Spin kick in the corner to Storm.
 Windmill kick to Roode, but Roode ducked.
 RVD with an elbow in the corner and goes to the top.
 Diving thrust kick. Pin but Storm breaks it up.
 RVD ducks the double clotheslines.
 Lethal got the tag and hits the missile dropkick on Roode.
 LETHAL COMBINATION! Roode got drilled.
 Rolling Thunder to Roode.
 Figure Four to Roode by Lethal.
 RVD over the top, taking out Storm.
 Roode taps out!
 Winners: Jay Lethal & Rob Van Dam!!
 Here comes Flair from the back though and he and Lethal start to brawl on the ramp.
 Chops by Flair, but Lethal comes back with some of his own.
 Flair takes him down and hits him with some more shots.
 Theyre trading shots now but Lethal gets the control as they head to the back.
 Rob soaks in the crowd reaction.
 RVD high fives the crowd members.
 He gets drilled in the head by one of them though.
 It turns out to be Sting who was wearing a fake Sting mask!
 Sting does a beat down with the bat; well at least I can only assume as were getting EVERYTHING edited out tonight, this is ridiculous!
 Sting walks up the ramp to the back.
We get a TNA Slammiversary promo set to the Taproot song, awesome vid!

Jeff Hardy is in the ring, and says hes made a living walking the beat of a different drum. Nobody knows what goes on inside his mind. He grew up idolizing Sting and now hes in the same company as the guy. He dares Sting to try and figure him out. The Creatures of the Night are going to take him behind his wildest imag-I-nation. Whatever!

In the back as security knocks on Wolfes door. They say its time. Wolfe tells Chelsea to get going. He shouts abuse at security calling them monsters.

And here comes Abyss to the ring. Abyss says Desmond Wolfe has something, or someone, that he owes him. So lets do this. He tells Desmond to bring her to him. And here comes the security guards with Chelsea. Abyss tells them to bring her to him. They bring here into the ring as Wolfe comes with her. Abyss tells Desmond that its quite ironic, because this past Sunday, he made him his bitch. And tonight, hes taking Wolfes! Wolfe taunts Abyss saying that was a Zinger and says that Abyss has a false sense of security. If he thinks for one second that hes letting him take her, hes sorely mistaken. Abyss can take her over his dead body. He then punts Abyss in the nuts. He then takes out security. Hes got a empty bottle. He smashes it and its broken. He holds up the broken end and starts yelling at Abyss. Hes taunting him with it. Wolfe slices the arm of Abyss, and he goes down we see NONE OF IT as were subjected to crowd shots Im complaining to Bravo this sucks!! Wolfe starts yelling at Chelsea now. Abyss knocks the bottle out of Wolfes hand and hits the Black Hole Slam. Abysss arm is bleeding pretty badly. Abyss points to Chelsea. Abyss picks up Chelsea and starts to walk up the ramp.

The Bands in the ring. Young says he understands the boos. Hes got everything, and the fans have nothing. Hes in the band, and theyre not. Hall, Nash and Young. Theyre like brothers. Theyre blood. Theyre the only two men in this business he has anything in common with. Nash is an asskicker. Hell tell you what hes going to do to your face, and then do it. Kev is being criticized because theres no one else in this business that has the balls to do it, except Young and Hall. The Band isnt here to play some cool tunes or entertain you mutants, theyre here for the big bucks. Theyre going to take everything. They know, and the fans know, theres not a damn thing anyone can do about it. And here comes Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal.

Match 4: Shannon Moore (w/ Jesse Neal) vs Eric Young (w/ TNA World Tag Team Champions Kevin Nash and Scott Hall)
 Young starts things off with the clubbing blows to the back.
 Moore floats over in the corner and hits the arm drags.
 Reverse atomic drop and he takes Young down.
 Leg drop. Pin but only two.
 Youngs back in control for a short time before Moore hits a springboard cross body, but only gets two on the pin.
 Moore charges Young but gets hit with a back elbow. Slam by EY. He goes to the second rope and hits a forearm drop.
 Pin but only two.
 Hes now choking Moore in the ropes.
 Nash goes to hit Moore but the ref stops him.
 Young with a snap mare and locks in an armbar.
 Moore fights back. Springboard wheelbarrow bulldog by Moore.
 Dropkick and a spin kick by Moore follows.
 Young counters an Irish whip but runs into an elbow.
 Whisper in the Wind by Moore.
 Pin but only two.
 Here comes Brother Ray.
 Neal spears him on the ramp and they start to brawl.
 Devon pulls Neal off.
 Hall hits Moore with the belt on the back.
 PILEDRIVER! And its a three count!
 Winner: Eric Young
 Good match
 Post match Brother Ray charges back to the ring and hits Neal. He boots him in the back of the head. Devon tells him to leave Neal alone. Ray walks away.
 They seem to be teasing a Team 3D breakup here.
Tenay and Taz recap the events that just happened between 3D and Neal.

Match 5: Chris Sabin vs Alex Shelley vs Jeremy Buck vs Max Buck vs Homicide vs Amazing Red vs Brian Kendrick vs Kaz X-Division Battle Royal
 The winner of this match becomes #10 in the rankings now that Kurt Angles dropped out.
 Red hits Kaz with a move off the top, but Kaz counters by throwing him over the top.
 Generation Me hits Sabin with a catapult dropkick.
 Shelley goes after Max, but Sabin hits him with a dropkick knocking him out.
 Shelley gets thrown up onto the apron.
 Springboard dropkick by Jeremy eliminates him.
 Sabin clotheslines Jeremy over the top and skins the cat.
 Here comes Flair. Screw job alert!!
 Kaz goes after Sabin.
 Sabin goes for a springboard but Kaz hits him with a kick.
 Homicide goes after Kaz now.
 Announcers talk about Kendrick who wasnt eliminated but is nowhere to be seen
 Kendrick sneaks in and eliminates Homicide.
 Final two are Kendrick and Kaz.
 Backdrop by Kaz on Kendrick.
 Springboard back elbow by Kaz.
 He throws Kendrick out and its over.
 Winner: Frankie Kazarian
 Flair is seen clapping for Kaz. What was the point in his involvement here?
Its main event time guys!!

Match 6: Sting vs Jeff Hardy
 Only a few minutes to go in the program, this wont be a classic anyway!
 Tie up to start with Sting pushing Hardy in the corner.
 Sting with the shots in the corner.
 Hardy comes back with the rights.
 Spinning back kick by Hardy sending Sting to the outside.
 Sting starts walking around the ring but gets hit with the baseball slide.
 Hardy goes over the top but Sting got out of the way.
 Sting takes Hardy and puts him on the ramp.
 He takes the leg and slams it into the side of the ramp.
 He then takes the leg and lifts it up, then thrusting it down into the ramp.
 Back in the ring now as Sting is laying Hardy with the stomps.
 Sting now stomping the leg.
 Stinger Splash coming up and it connects.
 Hardy avoids a second one and hits a clothesline.
 Reverse atomic drop, takedown and the leg drop to the nuts.
 Basement dropkick to the face by Hardy.
 Pin but only two.
 Sting avoids the Whisper in the Wind.
 Scorpion Deathlock is applied.
 Hardy gets to the ropes.
 Sting pulls Hardys leg and he inadvertently takes out the ref.
 Mr. Anderson!! YES!! Anderson comes in the ring and takes Sting down with the Scorpion Death Drop.
 I dont think Jeff Hardy saw Anderson whos now hiding at ringside.
 Hardy Pins Sting and thats it folks!
 Winner: Jeff Hardy
 Anderson comes in the ring and raises Hardys hand.
 Hardy pushes him.
 Anderson tells him to hold on and calls for the mic.
 Sting takes him out with the bat and then Hardy. But again we get crowd shots, pathetic.
 He lays both of them out. Sting stands over them as we fade out.
The Good: The top 10 contenders was well done, good to see Lethal get a much deserved push and the Sting storyline has been furthered well. Great to see Angle back and this storyline is going to rock, were going to see some magical matches. Also good to see Hardy and Sting face off for the first time ever.

The Bad: Hate to keep saying this, I sound like a broken record but the OJ v Rob Terry feud is a waste of time, NOT INTERESTING AT ALL!! The X Division battle royal was also a complete disaster, just too little time devoted and too much happening at once.

The Ugly: Bravo decided to air the Saturday Morning Replay style heavily edited version of impact, whether this was deliberate as a result of some of tonights violence or simply a mistake remains to be seen but it certainly ruined the show for me.

As always feedback welcome, drop me a line at ray@tnauk.tk

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