Tossing Salt – Worldwide News
April 30, 2011
I watched the Royal Wedding yesterday between Prince William and Kate Middleton and I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed. It was a beautiful ceremony with plenty of pomp and circumstance, but we didn’t have a single big red monster come up through the floor during the ceremony. We didn’t get any interuptions and videos about Kate being married the night before in Vegas. We didn’t even get any snake bites at the reception. And the official conducting the ceremony didn’t even rip off his fake face and talk about “Three Minutes”.
What kind of wedding was this? I’ve been watching wrestling for over thirty years. I know how a wedding is supposed to go. We didn’t even get to see Kate get involved in a cat fight and end up with her face in the wedding cake. Admit it. You’d have liked to have seen that.
Instead we got flowers and bands and romance and all sort of great ceremony. It was truly a magestic affair to remember and congratulations to William and Kate on their marriage. May they have many years of great happiness in their future. But lighten up a bit and relax. I know that yesterday was a big moment, but you can’t be all serious all the time.
After all, look at the Queen. She dressed up like the Teletubbie, La La. Now that’s a lady who knows how to have fun. First she “knights” Michael Cole and then tells her designers that “I want to look like a lemon at the wedding”. Gotta love her.
Okay, have I been impeached or sent to the gallows yet? Nope, I’m still here.
My apologies if I offended anyone with my jokes. They’re just jokes, much like Hogan and Bischoff running TNA wrestling and thinking it will succeed or Donald Trump running for President of the United States. Yeah, it makes for a good conversation and story, but just isn’t going to happen.
By the way, I’m Doug and this is professional wrestling’s most eclectic column since 2003, the one and only, often imitated, but never duplicated, “Tossing Salt – Worldwide News”. I think it’s time for me to quit trying to be funny (it doesn’t seem to be working anyhow) and get on to what we’re here to get on to… the “King of Sports”, professional wrestling (or as the WWE calls it, “that which shall not be named”.
So what’s on the agenda? We have a pay-per-view tomorrow night for the WWE called “Extreme Rules”. That means match predictions. And also, I want to talk about Chris Jericho and his departure from “Dancing With The Stars”, as well as two other WWE Superstars who may be making departures of their own in the very near future. And I’m sure that I’ll think of something else as I go along. So let’s get this party started. Break out the funnel.
As most of you are aware, this past week saw the elimination of WWE Superstar / Rock Star Chris Jericho from the television competition, “Dancing With The Stars”. After six weeks, the odds finally caught up to Jericho and after he and partner, Sheryl, received a paltry score of 22 points this past week, the curtain finally fell for the “Man of 1004 Holds!”.
For someone like Jericho, who has no previous dance experience at all, to go into such an intense competition as DWTS and do so well was amazing, but Jericho is the type of guy who works hard, gives it everything he has and thrives on the challenges of competition, thus it’s not really a surprise that he did so well.
Even though he’s technically not employed at the moment by the WWE, he made sure to mention the WWE often and give the company, and pro wrestling in general, a very good boost in character and image. For the fans who still think of wrestling as the small high school gyms and big, mindless brutes pounding each other, to see someone like Jericho come up and show just how well spoken, talented and charismatic pro wrestlers can be and are these days, it was a great education.
Jericho not only built his character and image in the world of entertainment, but he has proven to be a major asset and positive to pro wrestling in general and the WWE in particular. People who don’t watch wrestling saw Jericho on DWTS and are more likely now to tune in to the WWE to check things out. And having Miz there on Chris’s final night to lend him support was cool too.
It was a shame that Chris Jericho’s ride on DWTS ended so soon, but it’s not really an ending, but more of a beginning for the “Lion Hearted One”. Chris will be back in WWE soon enough. I think we all know that. But the publicity of DWTS opens up so many more doors for Chris, with TV spots, movies, guest appearances, etc. We’ve always known that “WWE is Jericho”, but after the past six weeks, I think it’s safe to say that “Hollywood Is Jericho” too. And it couldn’t happen to a better person. Congrats, Chris on a job well done.
Moving on and speaking of departures, rumor has it that two current WWE Superstars may soon be leaving the company. I’m talking about Michelle McCool and CM Punk.
Michelle McCool, long the dominate Diva on Smackdown, has allegedly decided that she’d rather stay at home for the duration and help her husband, The Undertaker, recover from injuries rather than stay in the WWE and work that hard road schedule.
I can’t say that I really blame her for that, especially when you factor in that whenever the Undertaker is ready to return to the ring, McCool can easily return to the company at that point and resume her career. It makes sense and explains why, after being reported in the live reports from this week’s Smackdown tapings that the match at “Extreme Rules” was a “Loser Leave Smackdown” match, it was changed in the editing room to a “Loser Leave WWE” match.
Whatever the reason may be, this may be a good idea for McCool. She has injuries of her own that really haven’t been able to properly heal (her foot) and obviously, she could do far more good for the company by helping Undertaker recover and get over his injuries rather than spend all of her time on the road traveling and risking injury herself. So I believe this particular rumor is true.
As for CM Punk, his contract is allegedly set to expire in a few months and he has yet to sign a new deal, citing the long hours on the road and the heavy travel schedule, as well as his perceived under-card status as compared to other WWE stars such as John Cena, Randy Orton, The Miz, Alberto Del Rio, etc.
And I can’t really blame him if this is indeed the case. Punk has done well with everything the WWE has given him to work with and deserves to be on the same level internally as the guys I mentioned. Instead, he’s overlooked and merely an afterthought. Think about this. It’s been almost a year since the last time he won a match on pay-per-view. And for someone who can generate the heat he does… and produce the matches he does, that is just insane.
If Punk does leave the WWE, I don’t see him really gone for too long a time. I think he’ll end up with a Chris Jericho like status where he takes some time off, recuperates from injuries and recharges the batteries, and comes back stronger and better than ever when he wants to. The man has skills and charisma that are extremely hard to match in the business these days and I believe the WWE realizes just what a talent they have. I’ve heard that the main reason that Beth Phoenix, who just happens to be dating Punk at the moment, was drafted to RAW, was to make Punk happier and more content to stay.
Leave or stay, I think Punk will do what’s best for Punk.
And my own feelings are that, after much negotiations and a reduced work schedule (TV tapings, PPV’s and the occasional house show), we’ll see Punk stick around for the duration. I hope so anyhow because if he does leave, Monday nights will lose some of their magic. I’m not doubting the talents or abilities of the other WWE Superstars. They’re good, but Punk has that magic, that “it” about him. And if the WWE is smart, they’ll pull out all the stops to keep him around.
Let’s move on now to Sunday night and the WWE’s “Extreme Rules” pay per view. I don’t expect it to do major sales or buy-rates, but I do expect to see a solid show and history to be made. Let’s get to the matches.
WWE Championship – Cage Match
The Miz (c) versus John Morrison versus John Cena
Well, we all know that John Morrison is not going to win this match. That’s pretty much a given. So do we see the WWE and RAW return to Super-Cena as their champ or do they keep the title on the most must-see WWE Champion ever? Miz has done an excellent job as the WWE Champion and in representing the company these past five months and I really don’t think it’s time for it to end.
They have to keep Cena strong because he’s John Cena, so I can’t really see Miz pinning Cena to win. So that’s why Morrison is here. Look for R-Truth to do some interference and set up Morrison to be pinned by the Miz, thus allowing the Miz to retain the WWE Championship. And that, my friends, is AWESOME!
Winner and STILL Champion: The Miz
World Championship – Ladder Match
Christian versus Alberto Del Rio
With this match, this will be the first time since Randy Savage fought Ted DiBiase in the tourmanent finals at Wrestlemania IV that a WWE or World Championship match will result in a new champion (someone who has never held either the WWE or World Championship before.) Del Rio says that it’s his destiny, but I think that that distinction falls to “Captain Charisma”, who is the right man in the right place at the right time.
Look for “The Peep’s Pope” to climb that ladder and grab that big gold belt, along with cementing his place in WWE history. I’d also expect to see Edge come out and celebrate with his best friend so we can get a great “Benoit / Guerrero” moment at the end of the show. Del Rio may have a World title in his future and destiny, but it won’t be at Extreme Rules.
Winner and NEW WORLD CHAMPION: Christian
No DQ, No Count Out, Loser Leave WWE Match
Michelle McCool versus Layla
I discussed this earlier. McCool is leaving to spend time with her husband, The Undertaker. She will be back eventually, but so far as this night goes, it will be Layla who will have her hand raised in victory and move on in the WWE Diva’s division. I’d love to see Kharma make her debut in this match and allign herself with Layla to cost Michelle the match. It’d give Kharma a good feud for the future (against McCool) and help her make an impact on her first night by destroying McCool and “retiring” her from the WWE and give Layla a role as her associate / keeper.
Country Whipping Match
Jim Ross & Jerry “The King” Lawler versus Jack Swagger & Michael Cole
This is going to be a stinker of a match, but at the same time, it’s the match I want most to see. With Ross’s physical condition and Cole’s lack of wrestling skills, let’s hope that Swagger and Lawler do most of the ringwork.
And even though we’ll see Ross and Lawler take some shots, I strongly expect to see Cole goof up and get the All American American mad at him. Swagger walks out and Cole takes an old fashioned mule whipping. And the fans are happy. I’m happy. Everyone is happy. And this feud ends while Cole goes on to feud with Eve and the Divas.
Winners: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler
Last Man Standing Match
CM Punk versus Randy Orton
So do we go for the guy who might be leaving or the guy who’s just been moved over to the other brand and on his first night, is already RKOing everyone and anyone who moves. It’s going to be a great match. I’m sure of that as these two work so well together and are capable of some fantastic matches and in ring work.
Does it matter who wins? Not really. Both men are so over with the fans that no matter the result of this match, it’s not going to change the minds of anyone as to how great they are or aren’t. Punk deserves to get the win and it would be a nice move by the WWE to help keep him around and on the roster, but I don’t think it will happen. Look for lots of back and forth and close calls by both men, but in the end, Randy and the RKO will get the win.
Winner: Randy Orton
Falls Count Anywhere Match
Cody Rhodes versus Rey Mysterio
Another great match that can easily go either way and it doesn’t really matter who wins or loses. Cody needs the win more than Rey does, buta strong performance and maybe some after-match hijinks will make up for any loss. Rey lost at Wrestlemania, so that means Cody loses here. It’s simply the most logical thing to do.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Rumors continue to persist that sometime between now and tomorrow night, we’re going to see a match added between the United States Champion, Sheamus and Kofi Kingston. Not sure exactly what the stipulation might be, but just in case the WWE does decide to pull the gun and add this match, here you go.
United States Championship Match
Sheamus (c) versus Kofi Kingston
Sheamus gave Kofi a major beatdown on Smackdown last night, but Kofi scored the win in a match on RAW this past Monday, so essentially, they’re tied. So who wins this match? Sheamus is the U.S. Champion, but there is already a secondary title on Smackdown with Wade Barrett and the Intercontinental Championship. Thus, it’s purely a matter of logistics as the U.S. belt has to go back to RAW. Kofi is a RAW guy now so he picks up the win and the title.
Winner and NEW U.S. Champion Kofi Kingston
And there you go. My predictions for WWE Extreme Rules 2011. Am I right? Am I wrong? We’ll see tomorrow night.
And on that, I’ll close this up for now. Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com
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And on that, I’m gone. I’m Doug and thanks for reading. Until the next time, always be a fan.