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Tossing Salt – Worldwide News (Part 4 of 5) – October 2, 2011

October 2, 2011   ·   0 Comments

How the heck are you?  I’m Doug and this is Part 4 of my series “Let The Bodies Hit The Floor”, where I’m going down the entire WWE roster and looking at every single WWE Superstar. WWE has gotten, in my opinion, extremely state. Wait!  Did I say “has gotten”?  It’s been this way for a while.  Every so often, we’ll get something that looks like it might liven things up and be fun again, but the brilliant and talented creative minds that run things in the WWE (I’m looking at you, Steph!) decide to improve and tweak and what starts off exciting ends up sucking skinny fat-ass!
It’s kind of like Facebook over the past week with all of their new “improvements”.  If it’s not broke, then don’t fix it. FB wasn’t broke, but the powers-that-be decided that it was and wanted to make it better.  Guess what?  It didn’t work.  It’s more frustrating and inconvenient than ever.  Where I used to spend sometimes two and three hours a day, talking to my friends and playing games, it’s become so annoying now, I might make it twenty minutes tops before signing off and moving on.  More improvements like this and I’m almost ready to delete my account and go back to MySpace.  At least we expect them to be idiots.  I would have thought that FB might learn from their example and not make the same mistakes.  I guess I thought wrong.
And the WWE “Creative Geniuses” are the same way.  If something is going well, getting publicity, drawing in new fans and bringing old fans back, they won’t leave it alone and let it run it’s course. They tweak it by burying the main reason it’s getting over and end up focusing more and more on the same old / same old again.  The fans WERE getting really into CM Punk and his “Pipe Bombs”.  So instead of pushing Punk and building on what he started, we get Cena, HHH and Kevin Nash.  Yeah, right!  Way to go, WWE!
Anyhow, I’m going over the roster and trying to decide who, if I was in charge, would be kept around and who would be put to the pasture, to help make WWE stronger and more fresh.  I’ve already went through the RAW roster and half of the Smackdown brand.
These folks are staying home with Daddy:  The Miz, R-Truth, Alberto Del Rio, Beth Phoenix, CM Punk, Drew McIntyre, Dolph Ziggler, Evan Bourne, Eve, Goldust, Jack Swagger, Jim Ross, John Cena, Justin Roberts, Kharma, Kofi Kingston, Mason Ryan, Michael Cole, Michael McGillicutty, Mr. McMahon, Primo, Ricardo Rodriguez, Skip Shefield, Santino, Triple H, Vickie Guerrero, Zack Ryder, Alicia Fox, Booker T, Brodus Clay, Christian, Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan, Ezekiel Jackson, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Johnny Curtis, Josh Matthews and Justin Gabriel.
And these folks get kicked to the curb:  Kevin Nash, Alex Riley, Big Show, Brie Bella, Curt Hawkins, David Otunga, Gail Kim, Jerry Lawler, John Laurinaitis, John Morrison, JTG, Kelly Kelly, Maryse, Niki Bella, Rey Mysterio, Scott Stanford, A.J., Askana, Heath Slater, Hornswoggle, Jack Korpela, Jinder Mahal and Kaitlyn.
And now, let’s finish up with the rest of the blue brand from WWE Smackdown.
Tossing Salt – Worldwide News:  Let The Bodies Hit The Floor Series (Part 4 of 5) – WWE Smackdown
Kane:  His best days are behind him, but he’s still popular with the fans and maintains a strong presence in the WWE Universe.  I don’t think that he should be in the main events, but he can still be a strong mid-carder and help build new stars.  For a while longer at least, he’s safe.
Layla:  Where is she?  Injured, right?  Well, let her heal up and bring her back. She’s not great in the ring, but she is a good talker and can handle her part of things.  And with some strong training and tutoring, she has potential to get better.  I’d keep her around and see if she can help rebuild the Diva division.  She’s safe.
Mark Henry:  He’s the current World Champion and stronger than ever.  Henry finally seems to have found his niche and I’m glad to see it.  Mark is definitely safe.
Matt Striker:  Let Matt move to RAW and work with Jim Ross at the announce table.  He’s a capable wrestler and even better as an announcer. Keep him.
Natayla:  A strong Diva who not only looks good, but can actually wrestle too. She’s safe.
Randy Orton:  Randy is a strong player and important to the success of the WWE.  I’d keep him and keep him high on the totem pole, but there would be one slight condition.  I wouldn’t let him anywhere near either the WWE or World Championship. He doesn’t need it to get over, so give some other guys the chance.  Randy is definitely safe.
Ranjin Singh:  As a writer on the creative team, he’s okay.  As a performer, there is no reason to keep him around, especially with Khali on my chopping block as well.  So he’s gone.
Rosa Mendez:  Keep her.  She’s hot!
Sheamus:  Sheamus is a great example of the WWE doing something right. He’s only been a part of the WWE for a few short years, but he’s firmly entrenched into the main event picture.  He’s a young man with a great, unique look and he can play either heel or face and still get a great reaction from the crowds.  He is absolutely safe, fella!
Sin Cara 1 (Mistico):  Let’s make it through Wrestlemania so that the WWE can set their world record about fans in masks and then dump this dude.  He’s sloppy and dangerous and not worth the headaches he’s caused.  Dump him.
Sin Cara II (Hunico):  He’s better than the original Sin Cara in the ring.  And he speaks English, which the original doesn’t.  And he can work the WWE style, which the original can’t.  All in all, the replacement is better than the original. And he keeps his job because of it.  He’s safe.
Tamina:  With her background and heritage, Tamina should be pushed hard and strong and be right up there with Natayla and Beth Phoenix.  She’s not the classic Diva, but she’s not unattractive by any means.  She just needs to be used correctly.  I’d keep her.
Ted DiBiase:  Teddy has so much potential and talent and it’s just a matter of using him right.  I’d keep him and try to make him strong. He could easily be, if pushed correctly, the next John Cena for the company and that’s what I’d be trying for.  He’s safe.
Great Khali: Go to Hollywood and become a star. But so far as the WWE goes, he’d be shown the door.
Teddy Long:  Holla Holla Holla Teddy.  You’d be moved off TV and given a job in the office. You’re gone!
Todd Grisham:  Todd has already left the WWE to go work at ESPN, so why is he still listed on the roster?  Someone needs to update that thing.  Todd has already said bye-bye-bye, so he’s gone-gone-gone.
Tony Chimel:  Another top notch ring announcer that does a fantastic job. He’s safe.
Trent Barreta:  A great look, but not much else. I’d suggest to Trent that he travel the world, go to Japan, go to ROH, go to TNA and become better.  He’s going to be really good one day, I believe, but he’s not ready to be on the biggest stage just yet.  He’s gone.
Tyson Kidd:  The young man has skills and a good look. He’s a little lacking in size, but he makes up for it in heart.  He’s safe.
Undertaker:  It’s the Undertaker.  What do you think? He’s safe.
Wade Barrett:  A good look, a strong presence, good mic skills and talented in the ring. Wade is a major league player waiting to break through the glass ceiling of the WWE.  With his size and talent, he’s well on his way to major stardom.  He’s definitely safe.
William Regal:  Regal is still a fine wrestler who can compete with anyone or everyone, but he’s also a fantastic commentator and announcer as well. He a man of many skills and talents and having him as part of the WWE roster, whether he wrestles or not, adds credibility and class to the WWE locker room. He’s totally safe.
Yoshi Tatsu:  The man has talent, but he’s not over.  Simple as that.  And I just don’t see him getting over anytime soon.  He’s gone.
And there you go. My look at the WWE and their superstars is over.  And wow, with all of these pink slips being handed out, it sure does leave the WWE roster looking a bid sad and depleted.  But I wouldn’t do that to the number one wrestling (oops), I mean “sports entertainment” company in the world.  I’ve got about twenty or so names that the WWE could use to fill up the holes and keep the roster strong. That’s tomorrow’s column.  Be sure to check it out.
And now, before I close up this bad mama-jama, I’ve got a few more ideas for possible TV shows for the upcoming WWE Network, which we’ve been told will be up and running by the end of next year.  I’ll believe it when I see it.  But if the WWE does get it going, they’re going to need some shows to help fill up all that airtime.  And here are a few more ideas…
First there was “Dr. Phil”.  Then there was “Dr. Oz” and “Dr. Drew”.  So, how about “Dr. Heiney”?  ‘Nuff said!
And I don’t have anything else right now. It’s been a long day.  So I’m going to close this up and call it a day. Questions and comments can be sent toDoug28352@yahoo.com. And visit me at that online headache called Facebook.  It’s www.facebook.com/saltpalace.  Add me as a friend. It’s just the proper thing to do.
I’m Doug and I’ll be back tomorrow as we finish this sucker up.  Tomorrow, it’s “The Replacements!”.  Have a great day and I’ll see you then.
Ubuntu!

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