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Tossing Salt – Worldwide News: April 10, 2012

April 11, 2012   ·   0 Comments

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News
“Blast From The Past” Smackdown
April 10, 2012
Doug Maynard

Tonight, it’s a LIVE on SyFy edition of WWE Friday Night Smackdown. And what the hell, let’s just doing a running blog of thoughts as the night moves along. Doesn’t that sound like fun? Of course it does. I’m Doug and for one night only (unless I decide to do it again), “Tossing Salt Is Blast From The Past Smackdown”. Let’s do this.

Blast From The Past – Smackdown!!

Later tonight, Piper’s Pit with Daniel Bryan. Roddy is either hit or miss with the pit, but as hot as Bryan’s character has been, I’m hoping it’s a hit. “Hot Rod” and “The American Dragon” Bryan Danielson aka “Daniel Bryan”. Wanna bet they’re gonna talk about Elizabeth… I mean “AJ”. I’m making a prediction right now. Daniel Bryan as the 2012 “King of the Ring” and AJ will get to be the Queen.

Good to see Mean Gene back! I miss the idea of having people doing interviews with the wrestlers. I like how Sheamus says there’s no excuse for his behavior in kicking a referee, but still makes an excuse anyhow. Sheamus’s “apology” just drags on and on. Here comes Johnny Ace to show what happened last week. Ref made the right call and got kicked in the face for his efforts.

“Who do you think you are?” – Johnny Ace thinks he’s a McMahon. Ace wants a public apology right after Sheamus has already apologized. Ace is being a total dick. He needs a boot to the face. Sheamus is on probation and if he touches a referee, he’s fired. Plus he’s getting fined. “Mean” Gene gets to wrestle and he’s Sheamus’s partner against Del Rio and Bryan. LMAO! I love this. It’s a stupid spin that’s been done to death many times, but still cool since Mean Gene is involved. .

“Cowboy” Bob Orton is here. Man, I’m liking this. Bob wishes his son good luck in his match later in the night. I didn’t notice if Cowboy Bob was wearing his cast or not, but I hope so. Maybe we’ll see him in Piper’s Pit too.

Match 1: Randy Orton versus “The World’s Strongest Man” Mark Henry

Mark Henry is a big ass scary man! Henry is dominating the match and I see Cowboy Bob watching from the back. He’s not wearing the cast. Damn! After a long commerical break, we come back and it’s still Mark Henry dominating the match. That means Orton is going to win. Mark misses the splash and it’s time for the Orton comeback. Just like he’s coming back to movies in the “Marine 3” movie. Oops! He got pulled from that one. My bad! They’re on the floor and Mark eats ringpost. Fire and brimstone erupts. What the hell?

Kane is on the Titantron with a long monologue like promo for the distraction. He still wants to be a monster. I guess their feud continues. Kane has laid out Cowboy Bob Orton in the back. The referee counts and I guess Henry wins the match by count-out? We’ll never know because Orton is in the back checking on his daddy. Kane with the ambush and we find out he likes family reunions as he lays out Randy with a steel pipe and Randy ends up stretched out on the floor next to Cowboy Bob. Kane wins! (But if Bob had been wearing his cast on the wrist, it would have been a different story. Just saying!)

How did Cowboy Bob Orton get from a room with a moniter to watch the match into a stairwell where he got crushed by Kane.

Benny Cramer is here for a good old fashioned squash match. He wanted to talk. Didn’t talk long because he’s facing Ryback. Tony Atlas, Ted DiBiase, Pat Patterson and Hillbilly Jim are watching the match from the back. Total flattened his ass squash and Ryback wins! Did you ever think it would turn out any differently?

Match 2: Ryback destroyed Benny Cramer. ‘Nuff said!

Heath Slater and Tyson Kidd are discussing strategy and Heath is very annoying. Well, Heath is talking and Tyson just looks as if he’s wondering what happened to his career since the “New Hart Foundation” ended. They have a Hall of Fame manager tonight against the Uso’s. They have Jimmy Hart. Man, he still looks the same as he did twenty years ago. Heath is happy. Tyson doesn’t look quite so amused or happy. This should be fun! WWE needs to bring the managers back and I’m not talking about Vickie Guerrero or just one or twice a year. They need to come back for good! Heath reminds me of a southern rock, modern day version of the Disco Inferno. And I loved watching Disco, but despite that, this comparison is NOT a compliment.

Mick Foley is here! He’s going to do commentary. It’s time for tag action.

Match 3: Heath Slater and Tyson Kidd w/ “Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart versus The Usos (Jimmy and Jey).

I love that little dance that the Uso’s do before each match. Pretty cool and I’d like to see them on the dance floor at the local gay club. They’d be a hit! Jimmy’s not payng attention to the match. He’s bugging Foley and Booker with the megaphone. Slater and Tyson are playing the old disgruntled partners routine and not getting along. A good match. Foley has Mr. Socko. The Uso’s get the pin and win with the splash. Foley goes after Jimmy Hart and “The Mouth” eats / meets Mr. Socko. Tyson and Slater leave and Jimmy Hart sells the sock like he had his head ripped off.

Daniel Bryan has such a way with little girls. He’s such a charmer. Piper’s Pit is coming up next. Should be good!

They just mentioned that the last Piper’s Pit on Smackdown was when a woman had a mole bitten off her face. That was The Boogyman biting the mole off of Jillian Hall’s face. I remember that. Piper is here to stir the pot and he shows up Daniel Bryan breaking up with AJ last week. We’ve already seen this clip three or four times already. I’m getting tired of it.

Uh oh – Piper has his “serious face” on. The “Yes Yes Yes” chants are alive and well in Virginia tonight. Bryan says that Johnny Ace has granted him his rematch for the World Championship. Bryan explains about the match and how he wants to make Sheamus tap out in a 2/3 falls match at Extreme Rules. Bryan blames AJ for causing him to lose the title and she won’t be there. Piper says that AJ is in the building and he likes her and it’s his show so Piper calls out AJ to the ring.

AJ is acting like the stupid, naive little girl and really playing it up how much she likes Daniel Bryan. Piper reminds AJ of what Daniel Bryan has done and says to leave the P.C. stuff in the back. AJ says it’s her fault and she made a mistake at Wrestlemania and she’s sorry. She just wants to talk to Bryan and she’ll make it up to her. Piper is speechless and flabbergasted. Piper calls AJ strong, smart and beautiful and she doesn’t need to make up anything to Daniel. He’s just using her.

Bryan gets in Piper and AJ’s face. He’s had enough. He tells AJ to leave the ring. Piper and Bryan seem to be both trying to control AJ. She leaves and Bryan smiles. Bryan starts to leave and Piper stops him. He’s not finished. Piper has his own version of “No No No”. Don’t yell at ladies or tell them to shut up. And don’t use ladies as a human shield. Piper is Mr. Therapist tonight. Piper predicts that Sheamus will kick the head off Bryan’s shoulders twice at Extreme Rules. Bryan slaps Piper and Piper mock chases him from the ring and postures from the ring as Bryan smiles and celebrates. Piper gets involved in the tag match later tonight. The Pit was okay. I’ve seen better, but I’ve also seen worse. Piper was in good form tonight.

The Edge DVD is out! I want to see it because I think I know him. And after I watch the DVD, I will.

So far the show has been okay, but if they really wanted to do a blast from the past show, they should have had Jim Ross and JBL out there to do the commentary. Just thought about that as the commericals are playing. Michael Cole isn’t as bad as he used to be, but he’s still pretty annoying. And Booker? As an announcer, he makes a great wrestler. Sucky Ducky indeed!

Match 4: Great Khali, Alicia Fox and Natayla versus The Bellas & Drew McIntyre in a six-person tag team match. Poor Drew – he has to wrestle Khali and carry the match because none of these Divas can wrestle. Hopefully it’ll end soon. Alicia pinned a Bella as I wrote this. I’m so glad it’s over. Okay, Drew ran from the ring and abandoned the match. I don’t blame him. I’d be running from this match too.

Here is Mae Young. PUPPIES!! Mae is giving Khali the tongue! Mae poses with the Divas. Last time we saw her, she was using a walker. Glad to see she’s still alive and well and looking great for a woman of her years. And that kick she gave Khali (which he almost forgot to see) was probably the best “wrestling move” in this segment. But then again, when you look at who appeared in this segment and that idiotic six person match, being the best isn’t really that hard to do. Mae has publically stated that she wants to wrestle a match when she turns 100 years old. And I have no doubt in my mind that she’s going to find a way to do it. That is one tough lady! Glad to see her make an appearance!

By the way, news broke yesterday that the Bellas will be leaving the company when their contracts expire in May. Damn! They’re not much as wrestlers, but they are attractive and who doesn’t like twins. I once dated a set of twins. A friend of mine asked me how I could tell them apart. I said, “Jonathan has the beard”… lol. Nerver mind! That’s too much info, isn’t it? Oh well! Let’s move on with the show.

Damien Sandow is here to talk. Who is this guy? He’s talking about sophistication and then social media. Quit with the big words already and just talk plain and simple english. He reminds me of a cross between Sean O’Haire and “Leaping” Lanny Poffo, aka “The Genius”. But can he wrestle? Inquiring minds want to know.

Flashback time to see Randy Orton and daddy Cowboy Bob get beaten up by Kane. How did they end up in the stairwell when that’s not where Bob Orton was at the beginning of Randy’s match. Cowboy Bob has suffered “injuries”. And then it’s RAW Rebound time so we get to see Brock Lesnar and John Cena pull shenanigans. CAT FIGHT!! How could RAW have a show where legitimacy was the theme of the night when the “guests” were Larry, Moe and Curly – the “Three Stooges”. Doesn’t make sense, does it? But then again, when has that ever mattered? I’m already tired of Brock – Cena! I blame Johnny Ace! And as a shout out to a former associate from the Yahoo group DXSI, I also blame Vince. I know that Peter Porkr does!

When is TNA Lockdown? Just wondering.

Mean Gene and Sheamus are discussing strategy. Sheamus is smiling and not stressing it though? They’re going out drinking later in the night – either a drink to remember or a drink to forget. I like that line. I’ll have to find a way to use it sometime.

Don’t try this at home!! A new video with that very explicit and smart message. Don’t worry! I won’t.

Here comes Hacksaw Jim Duggan to the ring and he’s wrestling. Probably the biggest pop of the night. And he’s wrestling Hunico, who has his partner and a bicycle. Hunico doesn’t care about the past because he’s the future. It’s all Hacksaw at the start and he’s calling out some friends. Here comes Sgt. Slaughter who gives Duggan the 2×4. Duggan is DQ’ed and Sgt Slaughter puts Hunico in the Cobra Clutch.

Match 5: Hunico beats Jim Duggan by DQ. I love the old guys, but I’m losing interest fast. Where’s Arn Anderson at? I think he needs to come out and give Michael Cole a spinebuster. They should have kept Ric, Tully, Windham and J.J. Dillon around after the Hall of Fame Ceremonies. A Horseman beatdown of Dusty Rhodes would really make this a “Blast From The Past” night worth watching.

Cody Rhodes is here. Tonight has been a waste of time and we should only be concerned about the future. Cody bashes the legends and here comes “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes to the ring. Cody doesn’t look happy to see “Daddy” make an appearance. Dusty is concerned. He’d do anything for his son, but Cody wanted to poke the bear. Dusty is embarassing Cody and Cody heads towards the back. Here comes the Big Show.

Show is doing Dusty impressions. Love it! We get to see a video of Cody applying lip gloss, from his “Dashing” days. Dusty looks ready to break up laughing. Show leaves and Cody starts to walk off. Dusty dances in the ring as Cody walks off. Cody plays the humiliated child so well, but then again, if your Daddy was Dusty and yourt brother is Goldust, he’s probably used to being made fun of. Just saying… lol. We see Sheamus and Mean Gene and they’re walking. The match of the century (because Gene is at least a century old) is next.

Match 6: Mean Gene Okerlund & Sheamus versus Daniel Bryan & Alberto Del Rio w/ Ricardo Rodriguez

The Fink is here to introduce Mean Gene and Sheamus. Very cool! Fire Lilian and the other guy on RAW and bring back “The Fink!”. I like this Del Rio / Bryan tag team. They work well together. Funny to see ’em pick on Mean Gene. Even Ricardo is getting in on the action. Here comes Roddy Piper and ALL the legends. Distractions and Sheamus kicks Daniel Bryan in the face to get the win. The legends are beating up on Ricardo. Funny stuff and Jimmy Hart has the megaphone, giving directions. Funny stuff.

Michael Cole gets into the ring to suggest a photo op before the legends head back to the home. Cole gets tossed from the ring and the Hall of Famers and legends in the ring continue their self love and celebration as the show comes to an end.

Not a bad show and kind of fun to see so many of the WWE Legends out there again. It got a little old at the end and I still would have liked to see a change in announcers or more of “Mean Gene” doing interviews rather than being stuck in the ring for a match. At least they didn’t have Mae Young wrestle though. She should only be allowed to wrestle once a decade and she has to rest up for her 100th Birthday Match.

And we only had one “Johnny Ace” appearance. Do you know what would have been nice? To see Road Warrior Animal make an appearance and clothesline his “baby brother” once or twice. Maybe later.

This show is in the books now and so is this column. I have a few more things to ramble on, but I have to be up early in the morning to start a new job. My nerves are shot to hell. Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. I’ll be back in a few days with my tag team partner to do some “Wrestling Fact Or Fiction” so look for that. And I’m out of here. Catch you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!

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