Contrary to my previous column *cough* I hope none of you dumba$$es listened to me (if you did it'd be a first!) And I hope you all went and ordered WrestleMania! If you didn't then please go and order a repeat if you still can! I take it all back (Doesn't happen often!) At the eleventh hour, after I watched the battle royal on wwe.com I went and ordered it, much to the delight of my kids who currently think I’m cool mother of the century (Until I tell them I’m going to London in just under two weeks to see Raw and Smackdown live and... not taking them with me!) Yes I am the WWE's IDEAL fan! They must love idiots like me I tell ya, all they had to do was dangle a battle royal under my nose, let me see the Citrus Bowl and I was all there's, well my money was! And DAMN if I’m not glad I did it? They can have my 15 quid... I'll gleefully hand deliver it to Vinnie Mac in a rose scented envelope and tip my cap as I walk backwards from his office bowing and proclaiming how unworthy I am! It was rather bloody good wasn't it?

John Legend opened with jets flying over head as he sings. America the Beautiful. Ah sentimental patriotic BS that us Brits just don't get! I love it!

A video package is seen, not unlike the rest of the packages we've seen tor the WM hype & I remember sitting watching with a feeling of 'Oh Lord what have I done? I could have bought 3 copies of WWE magazine with this money!"

JBL vs. Finlay - Belfast Brawl
I admit it, I marked for Hornswoggle simply because JBL and Finlay bore the a$s off me Id rather see Hornswoggle do an Irish jig for 20 minutes than watch JBL's ample bosom bouncing around the ring. Much as expected, tables & trash cans; shillelaghs(sp?) & cellulite, and me hoping Finlay would knock JBL's head off; and he almost did on a couple of occasions! They went through tables, they bounced trash cans off each others heads and bounced each others heads off announce tables and in the end (which didn’t come quick enough for me) JBL won. Hurrah and stuff... just because it's over! And the crowd go wild! Oh wait I had the wrong channel on...

A rather fit and stubbly looking Miiiisteeerrrrrrr Kennedy is seen backstage yelling in some chick's ear, her name is Kim, I don't care but she doesn’t know how to use a microphone... bless her amateur little heart!!

Money in the Bank
Bring it on! The one we've all been waiting for... in this house anyways. CMPunk vs. 'Jim' ha-ha Morrison vs. Jericho vs. Carlito vs. Miiistterrrr K vs. those other two guys and it didn't disappoint! What did I say in my last column about Shelton going up top? Oh dear! He did take a bit of a mega-bump when Kennedy & Carlito hurled him off a ladder onto a ladder outside (set up like the Hardy/Edge spot last year). I totally take my hat off to these guys, every year they have to come up with crazier and crazier sh*t just to keep us from bitching and every year they always do it they were KILLING each other out there for the sake of us mere mortals! Those guys are INSANE and I thank them for it!! Well did I call it or did I call it? No not really... I said Matt Hardy would be back but I really thought he'd be entrant number 8 in this match COME ON how awesome would that have been? I marked like a bit*h when he did the run-in, but it was way too short an appearance that I hope he got a ridiculous amount of money for because his 30 seconds were so much more entertaining than Mayweather... I’m looking forward to Smackdown now (yeah how scary is that statement?) MVP Impressed me again, Jericho shone like only Jericho can do in any situation, Carlito and Kennedy had some great spots & a couple of holy $hit moments from Morrison that were definatly worth seeing but CM Punk and Jericho stole it for me without a shadow of a doubt!
I had no idea who was going to win this one, I couldn't have picked the winner from my 5 faves if I'd been paid to and I was rather happy at the outcome. It will be interesting to see what Punk will do with this 'contract' and I’m hoping they don’t waste it on the ECW championship!!! This is match of the night for me... but then again so are a couple of others too! Shocking huh? Yeah when I like 'em I like 'em!!

*side note - the entrance walk way was extremely long, they started off in Orlando but I’m not sure what city they were in by the time they got to the ring!

The three competitors for the Raw triple threat are seen backstage. Cena looks ready, Randy looks fit and Triple H looks like he's been tango'ed!

Hall Of Fame recap... another 'DAMN' moment. I caught some of this and hell if I don't miss The Rock SO BAD! I had Goosebumps, I cried with laughing & I cried because it was so emotional. Come back Rocky damn we missed you!! (Ata Johnson looked stunning & had me almost sobbing!!) The Flair moment also had me a little misty-eyed as Stone Cold would put it, which surprised me because I usually don't give a rats hairy a$s what Flair does, I guess because I’m not as dumb as I write, I know what the guy has done for the business no matter how much I don't like him. Mae Young, God bless that woman and keep her with us for many more years she is a diamond! I hope I have half her energy when I'm half her age! (That was cruel I probably AM half her age... and no I don't have half her energy!!) And how much do Solie's son's look like him?!!

Snoop Dogg.. I don't get it but ya know snizzle with ya fizzle and all that. if Mick Foley can do it so can Paps so shut up! I LOVED Santino's interaction with 'Snoopy de Dog' he cracks me up, Festus on the other hand, doesn't crack me up he's just plain... freaky! Mick with his fizzle dizzle socko.. well come on its Mick how can you NOT like it?

Smackdown Vs Raw battle for Brand Supremacy, the best part of the whole thing was seeing Regal in the ring at the beginning. I like Umaga but how is meant to carry Batista through a match? The end 'Batista-Bomb' was more like a 'Batista-splat', I just can't get away with liking the guy.. I've tried this is not just hate for hate's sake! I have a Batista crazed friend that I love very much and I really did try to see what she saw... but I saw the same veiny, slow, un-exciting lump. Sorry Kimmaaay! If you're a Batista fan more power too ya because that must take some energy!
Batista won with his 'Batista-splat', so that means Smackdown is the supreme brand! Don't laugh too hard....

Mayweather backstage with his 'crew' or whatever the hell they call them and then we get to see the differing stats from him and Big Show, by now I’m hoping Show just sits on his head while he eats his legs!!

Kane vs. Chavo for the ECW championship. Kane having won the 24 man Battle Royal that was shown free view on WWE.com before the pay per view. After Stevie Richards was eliminated I was praying it would be Kane! And this match lasts approx 30 seconds. The entrances are longer. (Although how could they NOT be I’m sure they get less exercise at the gym than when walking that 6 mile ramp!!) One little choke slam a cover and a belt. Way to go. I’m glad Kane won and it's about bloody time they gave Glen something solid to work with but for God's sake!! First time the ECW championship has ever been defended at Wrestlemania... historic? Or just another way for Vince to take a pi$s on that name huh? Next...

Some person I've never heard of before in my life got into the ring to announce the 50 kids from 50 states thing the wwe has done with Make-A-Wish. Raven someone or other not that anyone cared.

A brilliant video package is aired of Flair and the whole HBK build up. Well done wwe video guys it was a very fitting tribute to the Nature Boy! (But no more Nachin'! LOL)  I wasn't particularly looking forward to this match but.. hell once again I was proved so wrong! It was a fantastic match, thinking about it now I don't know why I thought it would be anything other. We all had a feeling Shawn was retiring Ric but there was always a little doubt that the Natch wasn't quite ready to give it up just yet Hall Of Fame or not! There was a spot where Shawn did a moonsault onto the ECW announce table that made me gasp! it looked horrendously painful and I’m sure he's sore as hell today for that one if his ribs even survived intact. I’m sure that once again Shawn has the most talked about match of WrestleMania, they both did a fantastic job and Ric Flair made me cry twice in two days how does THAT work? Shawn looked like he really truly didn't want to do it, and before the last Sweet Chin Music he muttered 'I’m Sorry!' and 'I love you' and that was me GONE! His face when he got the three count was just.... awwww!! And Flair's kids ringside were sobbing their hearts out. Very emotional and classy match, well done to both guys not that it matters what I think I had to say it all the same. As I said before I never ever give Flair credit for anything when I write these columns, I love to slag him off and now all I'll have is... Lance Cade!! AAARRGGHH FLAIR COME BACK!! DONT LEAVE ME I TAKE IT ALL BACK I CANT LIVE WITH ONLY CADE TO HATE ON!! My columns will never be the same again... and neither will the WWE! I’m sure we'll see Flair again in another fashion, he was always good as GM in my humble opinion... but put him on Smackdown he ain't ousting our Regal!!!

Todd interviews Edge backstage and damned if he hasn't been crying aswell. Bless. Edge is the Rated R superstar, and sometimes I feel like he's the under rated superstar aswell. He and Orton haven't had the Championship runs that they should have had. I don't want either of their reigns to end tonight!!

Half way through and this calls for more expensive Pyros.. I mean come on TNA are next door they have to show them how it's done right?

Playboy.. rabbit up a pole & pi$s up a rope match all I can say is poor Beth and Melina. At least Beth got the pin I think they forgot who their women's champion IS right now!! Snoop Dogg... ain't he just... entertaining. *coughs*

Triple Threat for the WWE title... did any of you see THAT coming? Weird huh? I never expected Orton to retain and I think it's awesome that he did. I was stunned, presently of course! I love Cena screw the lot of you I don't care how much you all pretend you hate him, he's awesome, at the same time I really didn't want him to get this belt because all it does is open the smark floodgates all over again! Cena fans get drowned in whining moaning bitching smarks & smarkettes and sometimes it gets VERY boring to have to listen to the drivel. Anyways Hunter is not the WWE champion, Cena is not the WWE Champion this way everyone's happy right? The 'Hunter always has the title' smarks are grinning from ear to ear and the 'Cena only has two moves' smarks are positively partying right now OH YEAH! WWE you made the right smark-friendly choice I applaud you! What I don't applaud is Triple H's tanner and the really crappy jazz-band that attempted to play Cena's theme tune I mean what WAS up with THAT?!?! ALL HAIL RANDY ORTON he's our hero whether we like it or not you know?! I happen to like it... go back 2 or 3 years and read my columns and tell me you expected EVER to read that coming from my keyboard? Hey a girl can change her mind! (But I'd still rather look at him from the neck down! hehe) And for those little people in the front row with 'We Hate Cena' shirts on.. how OLD are you? I hate Lance Cade more than anyone hates Lance Cade, even his own mother, but you think I'd actually PAY to put his name on a t-shirt? Fools the lot of you!! Mwahaha

Big Show vs. Mayweather... well I’m sure the WWE were so happy they spent all that money hyping up this pile of steaming horse dung!! What a total crock, not that I expected any other. Let Mayweather win and sod off and hopefully we won't ever have to see him again! Why does Big Show always get stuck with the gimmick matches? Didn't he have to wear a nappy and fight that Sumo guy? And I believe he lost that one aswell. Utter bollox. Just made me dislike Mayweather even more. I’ve heard in a so called 'news' post that 'Mayweather wants to wrestle again' thus implying he's already done it before. I must have blinked. Give me a break!!!!!

Edge Vs Undertaker... Streak vs. Title do we even CARE about the title? I do, I care less about the damn streak we keep having to hear about. I was pretty disappointed at first; when their match was 5 minutes in I actually text messaged a friend saying 'this is crap' BUT...it got better and it got better fast! Very little interference infact when the Edge Heads did come to the ring they got chokeslammed off the apron for their troubles. Can't be easy being an Edge Head that's my theory, although I'd give it a go.. oh wait no I meant... id give..never mind! *coughs* ANY...way..moving rather quickly on...

Very good match between the two Smackdown superstars that really wasn't hyped enough in my opinion. Then again no match could get much of a look-in when the fantabulous Mayweather was going to tear the house down *insert sarcastic chuckle* I had a feeling Edge was about to lose his title, Orton had retained his, Flair had been retired and there's a lot of 'face-fans' that needed to go home happy. No fear, Edge will get that belt back and then he can have the most amazing feud with CMPunk who can cash in his Money In The Bank contract against him oh yeah! Yes I’m available for hire Stephanie please feel free to contact me on the email below although.. I really don't think you could handle my ideas! Such as the Four Corners Of Tuxedo up a pole match? (picture Alan Partridge pitching for a second series here...) MONKEY TENNIS?!! Id get your damn Buy-rates up woman step aside....

Overall thoughts? Holy crap I hope you saw it!
And I want to know if you had the same problems as my friend with the HD copyrighted BS. If you paid for this on Sky Box Office did you get to record it? A friend of mine was informed by her machine that 'this show is copy protected'. She has the Terminator of the damn DVDR world!!!!
I also hope all those Virgin Media customers eventually got to see it as I heard there were some BAD bad bad technical problems with their broadcast. (Thanks to Nat for that info!) Come on Sir Rich what are you playing at??!! Don't mess with the wrestling fans they'll all be back with Sky before you can say Money money yeah yeah!

I want to get the DVD now!!

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Come on and Hate me.... I’m a Cena fan!! ;p